Well...today was the day that we dreaded and it's now over! Addison has officially joined the "No Tonsils" club!
Last night was my Exhibition for my Master's program. It's the final detail where the graduates display their research and findings on a trifold board and talk about their project to anyone who stops at their table. I was so stressed out about getting all of that stuff done that it kept me from thinking too much about Addison's surgery. But when she came to my Exhibition last night, it hit me. She looked so beautiful in her pale pink dress shirt and loose curls in her hair. She is the picture of absolute beauty to me. As she twirled around I got choked up. I couldn't imagine my life without her. How do parents lose their children and ever move on??? When the Exhibition was over I went home and she was laying in my bed watching cartoons. When I went to take her a cookie about 30 minutes later, she was completely crashed. I just stood there and looked at her...carmel hair and gorgeous skin. I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and hold her and tell her everything will always be okay and that I love her no matter what. And that's exactly what I did. Then I took her in her room and put her pajamas on her and tucked her in.
Morning came too soon (as usual). Kale woke me up at 5:30 to nurse. I decided to take a shower and do my hair and make-up. When it was time for Addison to wake up, I got her up the same way she gets me up every morning: I crawled into her bed and snuggled up to her. When it was time to go, she decided to wear her Hannah Montana comfy pants from Aunt Lacey and a long sleeve t-shirt. Oh, and of course a bow :) When we got to the hospital she was pretty quiet. They did the typical height, weight, blood pressure and heart check. It ended up being another hour and forty-five minutes before the anesthesiologist and nurse came and took her back to the OR. I took one last look at her...skinny little legs, long hair, blue eyes. I kissed her and told her I loved her. She went sooooo bravely with the nurse. During our wait, I nursed Kale again and tried to get him to sleep. I was also in need of a serious caffeine fix! It was only about an hour later when the doctor came out and said everything went just as planned and that she'd be coming out of recovery very soon. When we walked back the nurse was carrying her and she was crying for me. I took her in my arms and held her and smelled her hair. She sat on my lap and ate two orange popsicles and then needed to go potty. I took her in there and she said, "Get. Me. The. Hell. Outta Here!!!" I had to purse my lips together so I didn't giggle. All she wanted to do was go home.
So here we sit...on the couch cuddled up together watching Beethoven (yes, the big dog movie). I couldn't imagine not having her (or Kale) and am thankful to God for watching over her. I'm anxious to hear from her point of view what she remembers. Right now I'm trying to keep her from using her voice too much :) Thank you to anyone who said a quick prayer for Addison...she really appreciates it!!!
Oh honey, I tear up reading it! Good question! Its against nature, a parent should never bury a child. I cannot imagine getting past it. I know people do. I imagine help from God is a big part. But still, I cant begin to think how anyone can do it.
ReplyDeleteIt is so wonderful to hear she is doing so well. :-) She is so brave and she will be fine in no time. Kids are so much tougher than us grown ups. I would wale and cry and whine for as long as possible. But kids, they are anxious to get past it and back to the action! :-)
Thinking about you all!! :-)